This is a prompt I made last year towards the end of the year.
As the end of the year approaches, many people write down a list of resolutions that they hope to keep during the following year. Instead of listing out all the things you want to accomplish, pretend it’s December 31st 2025. Write yourself a letter in prose in which you reminisce over all you have done in 2025. Make it as aspirational or as modest as you want. The key is to put yourself in the headspace of gratitude at everything you overcame or achieved over the next 525,600 minutes.
Twelve months of exponential spiritual growth
Bequeath me with breathless astonishment
The emotional distances traveled over these past 365
Almost unfathomable
Incomprehensible
As the ball dropped in New York last year
Vague aspirations disguised as foolish hopes masquerading as dubious desires
Filled my mind’s eye
A mirage of lustful imagination playfully composing scenarios of “what if?”
Today instead I sit a thankful alcoholic
Jasmine green tea in my mug
As I toast to 18 months and 1 day
An epic length of sobriety that 2023 me
Couldn’t have even begun to fathom
My sponsee has a sponsee
An unbroken lineage replacing familial expectations of grandchildren who use diapers
The career change I was terrified of making
At the beginning of the year
Bearing fruits so sweet
The shock of biting into this feeling of accomplishment
Surprises me every morning
The boundless energy of my aging furry companions
Translating into long walks down Sunset Boulevard
The activity to blame
For the necessity of purchasing an entirely new wardrobe
The previous one was too big
The depths of grief I survived this year
Deceptively deep
Murky
The birthdays and anniversaries and reminders of death and loss of loved ones bitingly cold in their grip
I struggled
I raged
I sometimes lost myself so thoroughly in my memories
My world wondered how I would find my way out
But I did
And I did it sober even
Last month
Toothbrush poised halfway in my mouth
I matched my gaze in the reflection
Instead of the instinctive flinch I came to know
In that gaze I saw not the self-hatred & loathing
That defined
The majority of my life
Reflected in that gaze I saw not acceptance
Nor contentment
I saw love
Removing the toothbrush
I mouthed the words, for the first time actually believing them
“I love you”
As the end of the year approaches, many people write down a list of resolutions that they hope to keep during the following year. Instead of listing out all the things you want to accomplish, pretend it’s December 31st 2025. Write yourself a letter in prose in which you reminisce over all you have done in 2025. Make it as aspirational or as modest as you want. The key is to put yourself in the headspace of gratitude at everything you overcame or achieved over the next 525,600 minutes.
Twelve months of exponential spiritual growth
Bequeath me with breathless astonishment
The emotional distances traveled over these past 365
Almost unfathomable
Incomprehensible
As the ball dropped in New York last year
Vague aspirations disguised as foolish hopes masquerading as dubious desires
Filled my mind’s eye
A mirage of lustful imagination playfully composing scenarios of “what if?”
Today instead I sit a thankful alcoholic
Jasmine green tea in my mug
As I toast to 18 months and 1 day
An epic length of sobriety that 2023 me
Couldn’t have even begun to fathom
My sponsee has a sponsee
An unbroken lineage replacing familial expectations of grandchildren who use diapers
The career change I was terrified of making
At the beginning of the year
Bearing fruits so sweet
The shock of biting into this feeling of accomplishment
Surprises me every morning
The boundless energy of my aging furry companions
Translating into long walks down Sunset Boulevard
The activity to blame
For the necessity of purchasing an entirely new wardrobe
The previous one was too big
The depths of grief I survived this year
Deceptively deep
Murky
The birthdays and anniversaries and reminders of death and loss of loved ones bitingly cold in their grip
I struggled
I raged
I sometimes lost myself so thoroughly in my memories
My world wondered how I would find my way out
But I did
And I did it sober even
Last month
Toothbrush poised halfway in my mouth
I matched my gaze in the reflection
Instead of the instinctive flinch I came to know
In that gaze I saw not the self-hatred & loathing
That defined
The majority of my life
Reflected in that gaze I saw not acceptance
Nor contentment
I saw love
Removing the toothbrush
I mouthed the words, for the first time actually believing them
“I love you”